Stop. Breathe. You Matter!

I see a few benches at the square, so I grab an empty one and set my bag down next to me. This is the perfect spot to sip my coffee as I take a temporary respite from the hustle of the Big Apple. It’s a Belgian Mocha and it’s delicious. I am watching pedestrians walk through the square in all directions and I try counting how many people walk by but soon lose count. It never ceases to amaze me how there are so many of us from different backgrounds, living unique lifestyles and coming together in the same place. Briefly locking eyes and perhaps exchanging a smile or nod in acknowledgment of the other’s existence. We’re all so different yet so similar. Sometimes I wonder what must be going on in the minds of all these passing strangers. Is that group of teenagers on their way to the arcade? How long has that old couple been together as they walk slowly hand in hand? I can spot a few tourists as they stop to take pictures, from different angles, of the Empire State Building. Is that little girl who’s hanging between her parents, smiling and laughing, the happiest she’s ever been in her short life?

Our schedules are demanding, and it only feels natural to move on to the next task once the previous one has been completed. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. Ambition, goals and drive have their place in our lives. In the world where social media is a norm and the news cycle is onto the next big thing every hour, it’s begun to feel like everything is moving at lightspeed. I’ve been there, thinking I must move at lightspeed just to stay afloat. I don’t want to be left behind, so I must keep up with all the new trends, new tech, improving myself and the daily developing news. Frankly, I don’t think it’s possible for us to move and process that fast. Granted, there are important issues out there that our shared humanity demands we stand up for, speak out about and somehow find a way to contribute to. The constant struggle to pay attention conflicts with taking a step back, it seems. Picking a single issue seems like a disservice to the rest. Conversely, focusing solely on ourselves feels like the selfish option. I’ll be honest, I’m still trying  to figure it out.

For now, I’m not going to focus on the strangers walking through the square and I’m not going to focus on myself (I’ve been doing that way too much anyways). Today, I’m going to direct my attention to you. Have you been waiting for the weekend to arrive so you can decompress but can’t because you have so many errands that piled up during the week? Maybe a trip to the grocery store has been on your to-do list or perhaps there’s a few loads of laundry that have been staring you down for a while now? If you’re a parent, maybe you are figuring out how to keep the kids busy until Monday? Perhaps a visit to the folks is in order, it’s been a few weeks. If you’re fortunate this weekend, you’ve got some travel plans you’ve been looking forward to or a night out planned with some close friends. Maybe it’s all or none of the above but let me ask you a question, have you taken a moment to sit back and reflect on the week?

Did something happen that may have excited you, but you brushed passed it? Or did something awful happen but you convinced yourself that now isn’t the time to dwell on it? At any point, did you abandon how you felt and just got on with it? Stay with me for two minutes, let’s take a deep breath together. Close your eyes and inhale deeply, go on, fill those lungs up. Hold for 4 seconds. Long exhale, count to 7. If you want to take another round, go right ahead. I’ll wait here until you come back… any thoughts, worries or regrets; just let them pass through you. Try not to attach, define or judge yourself with any of these passing thoughts. You might feel anxious to do something or feelings that you’ve been avoiding, it’s okay, let them pass through you. Sit here with me until the noise settles down a bit. I may or may not know you, but I have something to say to you, “You are truly amazing”.

I’m not done yet. You are resilient, you are resourceful, and you matter. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at times, and you have every right to be proud of yourself. No one person or event can dim your light or define your worth. I know you are doing your best and whether you do or don’t achieve what you set out to everyday does not affect your magnificence and beauty. You are stardust and a manifestation of the universe itself. You move at a pace that is set by you, it cannot be defined by anyone else. You won’t miss out if you walk the path your heart has set out for you. Your goals, ambitions and effort are a function of you but so is how you rest, reflect and accept. It goes both ways and take this moment to appreciate and love yourself. We all deserve only what we’re willing to give ourselves, so you fucking deserve it if you think and feel you deserve it. Personally, I think you deserve it. Honestly, no one else has walked in your shoes so no one else can tell you if you do or don’t so what will you choose to tell yourself right now?

We are so hard on ourselves, aren’t we? I’ve been there, working hundred-hour weeks vying for a promotion and a pay raise but now I ask myself whether the cost is worth it? So, if you’ve been focused on work, the next project, the next promotion, the next task, responsibilities at home, ageing parents, sick children, your to-do list or anything else that might give you a bit of stress then do yourself a favor and give yourself a break, even if it’s for ten minutes or so. I know you want to do it all and I’m pretty sure you will, but you frickin’ matter and that’s the truest thing I’ve said all day today. I feel it in my bones, and I don’t even know you (maybe I do but that’s not the point!). Question is, do you know that you do?

Much love and have a great weekend! (i.e. go get a massage!)