When to Fight, When to Flow

It was approaching midnight, and my eyes were glued to the screen. The antagonist claims that there is no such thing as real peace in this accursed world. Cue the inspirational music. The hero rousingly and ferociously declares, "Then I will break the curse. If there is such a thing as peace, I will seize it! I will never give up." Goosebumps, I tell you! You almost forget the fact that this is a Shonen anime. I’m also not afraid to admit this is probably the fifth time I’m rewatching it. It hits the sweet spot between inspiration and hope.

Not that you asked, but yes, I’m in my mid-thirties and I still find myself teary-eyed, with a lump in my throat during certain scenes. Somehow, at some point, anime became my safe space. If you aren’t familiar, it’s easy to write these shows off. But some of these creators aren’t satisfied with surface-level dialogue. They weave in deeply emotional concepts. Sure, the characters often fall into typical archetypes—but so what? The goal is to connect with the audience, and oh boy, do they succeed.

One of the reasons I keep going back to this anime is because it gives me a different way to let my guard down — and it reminds me that persistence isn’t just physical; it’s emotional, too.In that episode, when the hero declared he'd never give up, it hit me differently. Not just because of the line, but because I’ve wrestled with that same mindset: Where’s the line between 'never giving up' and 'surrendering'? And how do we know which one we're doing in real life?

If you're anything like me, you hate giving up. You want to give it your all and squeeze out as much effort as you can when you're focused on a goal. But that same drive can make it hard to surrender, even when the situation demands it. I believe both persistence and going with the flow are crucial to building a fulfilling life.

Hustle culture often teaches us that persistence is the key to success. Implicit in that message is the idea that success must come at the cost of our time, and sometimes even our values. On the other hand, a fatalistic approach can feel like rebellion—or even a calling. It's alluring to believe that everything is predetermined and inevitable. In that mindset, surrender becomes the only option, right? I’ll admit, I’ve swung between both extremes. One leads to burnout, the other to a lack of accountability. And I’ve learned that both constant action and constant inaction can have distressing consequences.

Have I paralyzed you yet? Don’t despair—there is hope! In the past, when life tested me, I typically turned to psychological literature and therapy to understand my mind. Maybe there were patterns that needed to be uncovered. These days, I also find myself integrating spiritual perspectives. The tenet of moderation is a cornerstone of many spiritual and religious practices, even if followers don't always embody it. After all, we’re human. We err. Moderation isn’t just about wealth, property, or food—it also applies to how we behave, grieve, and love. And it’s not easy, because society is designed for everything but temperance.

A concept I’m growing increasingly familiar with is value alignment. I’ve realized a lot of us — depending on where we started — were taught to either chase success like it’s oxygen, or just survive and keep our heads down. In both cases, there’s rarely room to ask what really matters beneath it all. I’ve definitely chased the validation — degrees, titles, all the shiny stuff. And yeah, it felt good… for a bit. But the high wore off. The next thing always called. Some people say it’s about optimizing dopamine. Honestly? I think we need something deeper. Something that sticks.

What we need is context—and we build that with our values. Our values shape our context, and over time, that context shapes our identity. I was reminded of this while reading "Atomic Habits" by James Clear, one of my favorite books. He articulates the link between habits and identity with precision and simplicity. He suggests that when we align our habits with our values, those habits compound into an identity that reflects who we truly are. And that alignment leads to a fulfilling life.

So how does all of this bring us back to the line between "never giving up" and "surrendering"? As Clear suggests, defining our values is essential. It gives us a framework for discerning whether a decision or relationship aligns with our chosen path. A life grounded in value-based habits also helps us clarify what is and isn’t in our control. Once we know that, the next step is practicing moderation. It becomes our guardrail against self-erasure or self-abandonment, allowing us to move through life with dignity and self-respect. This isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a full integration. It’s about owning your shit and letting others own theirs.

If your next decision feels forced, misaligned, and leads to self-erasure, then maybe it’s time to surrender. Trust that the universe might have a better plan. But if your next step feels rooted in your values and enhances your self-respect, then maybe it’s not time to give up. Maybe it’s time to press forward. Neither path guarantees a specific outcome. But either choice—when aligned with your values—can help you move through life with peace. Maybe the real courage isn’t in declaring ‘I’ll never give up’ — maybe it’s knowing when to whisper, ‘I’ll let go’.

So, tell me, where do you need to surrender, and where will you never give up?

P.S. Much love! Have a great weekend.