Bloom Anyway

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom this week as the winds of spring settle in. I’ve always heard that this time of year in Japan is amazing. Still, watching them bloom where I live is a joy of its own. My walks hold a little more joy nowadays. The changing of seasons, the warm air, and pollination of plants and trees brings about a truly magnificent sight of colors and smells. Nature surrenders itself to the whims of spring.

It’s a great metaphor for how we can allow ourselves to surrender to our changing seasons. Am I being needlessly poetic or do I have a point? Let me explain. You see, for a long time, I viewed the act of surrendering as a consequence of fear. The underlying premise being that we have the power to control outcomes with solely our intention and effort. This concept seems to be deceptively convincing if you are someone who views the world through the lens of cause and effect. However, during times of emotional exhaustion, even that accountability can spiral into shame.

We all make mistakes, and these can certainly have consequences. For example, being irresponsible with your credit card can lead to stacked up debt payments. That’s simple cause and effect in play. Then there are certain outcomes that happen where no specific cause can be identified. For instance, a tragic accident leading to the death of a loved one or the end of a long-term relationship. It’s only natural to go into a loop of questioning every action, each decision or interaction to identify the cause. There may be a variety of factors, some in our control and others not so much.

The thing I’m learning is that the mind loves the safety of certainty. So, it needs to make things make sense. At the same time there’s a limit to the number of things we can consciously process. Our brain is extremely efficient at drawing conclusions and in its search for answers, it can resort to blame. In my case - I was always the primary suspect to blame. Case closed. Thank you, brain. Cue the shame spiral, please.

Seriously though, what a cruel joke! Who knew we could find safety in self-blame. Does any of this sound familiar? No? Ah, perhaps it’s only me then! Back to the question at hand, what does craving safety imply? It’s the presence of fear. Perhaps, a fear of abandonment, the fear of failure and anything in between. Curse all the unconscious patterns we’ve picked up! Before we go on, I just want you to know that you are not alone in being afraid. I’m right there with you, my friend! Are you down to break them with me? Let’s do it. I believe in us.

When the act of searching for answers becomes an emotionally burdensome drill and we know it’s rooted in fear then isn’t the most courageous step the act of surrender? Not a fan of quoting heads of state but love this one from Franklin D. Roosevelt, who said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear”. What’s more important than our fear? It’s the life that we choose to live. A calm heart will bring peace of mind.

We aren’t sitting around letting life pass by. We are leaning in and facing our fears by welcoming uncertainty.  We are part of a vast ecosystem with too many unknown variables to analyze each decision. Like the blossoms in spring, maybe surrender isn’t weakness — maybe it’s nature’s way of blooming. Actively surrendering is the most courageous option. After all, progress isn’t made by focusing on the past or future. It’s grounded in accepting today. The only thing we can do is move through life with dignity and do our absolute best despite the uncertainty.

So, my friend, let's be courageous today!

P.S. Much love and have a great weekend.